The nipple on my Mighty Mouse keeps sticking. It goes down but won't come back up.
Story of my life.
Wednesday 16 April 2008
Monday 14 April 2008
TK Maxx Pain
I was looking through so many racks of clothes in TK Maxx yesterday that I got a repetitive strain ache in my shoulder.
How lame is that.
How lame is that.
Yoghurt lessons
1. Never, no matter what Muller try to tell you, lick the lid of life.
2. Don't scoop the edge residue into the main yoghurt either.
3. Open the yoghurt away from you to avoid clothing stainage. I've forgotten this rule twice in the last few days. Hmmm, suspicious soiling.
4. Muller corners don't bend and tip like they used to do. They spring back. And lo, my crumble landed on the desk instead of in with the rhubarb.
5. Disposable spoons taste better.
2. Don't scoop the edge residue into the main yoghurt either.
3. Open the yoghurt away from you to avoid clothing stainage. I've forgotten this rule twice in the last few days. Hmmm, suspicious soiling.
4. Muller corners don't bend and tip like they used to do. They spring back. And lo, my crumble landed on the desk instead of in with the rhubarb.
5. Disposable spoons taste better.
Ellen Page or is it Paige
You know that film Juno that won an Oscar. Juno it? (I'm so fucking funny. Again) Well, I've always thought that the script was so "witty" and up it's own arse that I would hate it. Pretentious drivel pouring out of this lass's gob on any clip I've seen.
Well, the other night I caught the last few minutes of Hard Candy. It's the one about the perv who gets the tables turned on him.
Then it clicked, the reason I really couldn't watch Juno is because it's got Ellen Page (or is it Paige) in it. I don't think I've ever seen a face I'd more like to punch. I'm irritated just thinking about it.
Jeez, I feel sick now. Sorry, I'm going to have to stop.
Well, the other night I caught the last few minutes of Hard Candy. It's the one about the perv who gets the tables turned on him.
Then it clicked, the reason I really couldn't watch Juno is because it's got Ellen Page (or is it Paige) in it. I don't think I've ever seen a face I'd more like to punch. I'm irritated just thinking about it.
Jeez, I feel sick now. Sorry, I'm going to have to stop.
Finger lickin' bad
Last week at Sainsburys the assistant asked me if I was collecting the Computers for Schools vouchers. As a parent I said yes.
Imagine my disgust when the assistant licked her finger to flick through the correct number of vouchers.
Go on, fucking well imagine it.
Imagine my disgust when the assistant licked her finger to flick through the correct number of vouchers.
Go on, fucking well imagine it.
My Rock 'n' Roll Lifestyle
In this age of "bags for life" is there anything more rock 'n' roll than using one supermarkets bag for life in a rival supermarket.
Last week I used a Marks & Spencer bag at Tesco.
Ooh the daggers I got that night.
Bring it.
Last week I used a Marks & Spencer bag at Tesco.
Ooh the daggers I got that night.
Bring it.
Revolving doors
They come in a number of sizes don't they. You'd think that wouldn't create a problem but it does.
At John Lewis they have the very large automatic revolving door which can fit about five people comfortably at walking pace. At the other end of the spectrum Jenners has a push one which can fit no more than one person. You know where you stand. Literally.
It's the inbetweeny size doors which are a potential minefield. The door at Debenhams probably accomodates 2.5 people. This is no problem if you're out as a couple but if you're on your own do you take that leap in with a stranger? Because it's an automatic they often do that sudden stop start thing. And that's the potential problem.
Inadvertent bumming.
Can you imagine the door stopping and you're suddenly thrust forward into the rear of someone else. If it was a woman you look like a pervert and if it's a guy, well, you still kind of look like a pervert.
Ye be warned.
At John Lewis they have the very large automatic revolving door which can fit about five people comfortably at walking pace. At the other end of the spectrum Jenners has a push one which can fit no more than one person. You know where you stand. Literally.
It's the inbetweeny size doors which are a potential minefield. The door at Debenhams probably accomodates 2.5 people. This is no problem if you're out as a couple but if you're on your own do you take that leap in with a stranger? Because it's an automatic they often do that sudden stop start thing. And that's the potential problem.
Inadvertent bumming.
Can you imagine the door stopping and you're suddenly thrust forward into the rear of someone else. If it was a woman you look like a pervert and if it's a guy, well, you still kind of look like a pervert.
Ye be warned.
Buying jeans
I find buying jeans to be incredibly difficult. As I've mentioned before I'm kind of between sizes when it comes to inside leg and waist but that's not the problem. It's all the different cuts and styles - bootcut, straight leg, etc. but when they're hanging up they all look the bloody same. You just can't tell without trying them on but it's no fun taking 20 pairs of blue trousers into a changing room.
I did manage to buy a new pair the other week though but I have no idea about how I did it. I remember entering the shop and I remember leaving with a bag in my hand. When I got home there were jeans in the bag and a receipt in my wallet. The rest is just a blur.
I call it the Kex-Files.
I did manage to buy a new pair the other week though but I have no idea about how I did it. I remember entering the shop and I remember leaving with a bag in my hand. When I got home there were jeans in the bag and a receipt in my wallet. The rest is just a blur.
I call it the Kex-Files.
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