Go With The Flow

You know how comfortable and in love you are when you buy your wife's or partner's sanitary products without giving it a moment's thought. I'm easily at that stage.

In fact, I'm beyond that. I can strike up a conversation with the sales assistant about it. Oh the banter when you've picked up super rather than regular.

It's true, they do give you confidence.

Pantage

I always buy large pants. I'm not saying I'm "large". I'm just saying I buy large pants. And I fit them well, OK.

Makes me think. Do men ever buy any other size? Even if you were departmentally small or medium you would still buy large pants. What man could hand over small pants at the counter without feeling inadequate.

Imagine if your wife or partner bought you a size other than large. That would show what she really thinks of you. I would think buying small would be grounds for divorce.

Of course if you get extra large that doesn't mean you're overly endowed. It means you're a fat fucker.

Mastershit

Some work conversation turned to Masterchef today. I don't usually watch but I did see the final. John "Just Out of Bed" Turode and Greg "The Bald One whose surname I can't remember" were ruminating over a final decision. Cut to Greg rubbing his eyes to get rid of the tears.

What a prize cunt. I tell you what, I should be on Masterchef. Then I could feed him something to really bring tears to his eyes.

The Foot Fist Way Trailer LMA(nus)O