ICD

It's time to let the world know all about a condition that is sweeping the globe. It's name is Irritating Celebrity Disorder (ICD). Every day there are more and more sufferers as more celebrities to more irritating things. Whereas previously these were seen as isolated conditions, for example Ray Quinn Syndrome, they are in fact different variations on the same condition with broadly the same symptoms.

Some of us suffer ICD through a wide range of celebrities. As you know I have Ray Quinn Syndrome. But did you also realise that I have Kate Thornton Trauma, Sharleen Spiteri Pain, Lulu (yes, this one is simply known as Lulu), Victoria Beckham Mania (bad mania not good mania) and James Bluntism. James Bluntism is probably the most common form of ICD in the UK.

The more these people appear across various forms of media the more the symptoms appear. It can be debilitating and, like an ITV sitcom, is certainly no laughing matter. What makes this worse, and why I can connect this to the more "popular" OCD is that one symptom is that you cannot resist viewing this media. It's like scratching an itchy rash. I could find myself watching Ray Quinn on Dancing On Ice just so I could feel the pain of seeing his smarmy, cocksure face.

New forms of ICD can creep up on you at any time. That is why it is so dangerous and why I am spending my limited free time in promoting it's awareness. I am going to set up a dedicated Facebook group as well. I hope this won't be construed as attacking or hating specific people, it is merely highlighting one of society's problems and needs to be recognised as such. Should I get banned from Facebook for doing this then so be it. Rage against the machine and all that.

Previously I had found Myleene Klass to be a little offensive but not a candidate for ICD. That was until I saw her Pantene shampoo ad. Possibly the most offensive ad ever shown and certainly one that brought out my ICD. As I dry heaved on my way from the TV I couldn't help but Google Myleene Klass Pantene ad to discover that not only does she have her own nausea inducing website but that she has her own You Tube channel.



Look at her, she has shiny hair, she can play the piano, she can gurn and she can have a baby and still stay in shape. How can any other woman on the planet ever be able to do that, even aspiring to do that must be exhausting. Oh Myleene you are amazing. Thank you for teaching us your ways. Could you now be so kind as to fuck off until we feel the need for a Hearsay reunion tour.