The Apprentice Week 3 Review

Another hilarious episode. Can't believe I've never watched this before. As it's the holidays, eldest (7) was still up to watch this for the first time and I can tell she was impressed that I shouted "cock" at the TV as soon as Ben appeared.

Here are my notes from tonight:

Nyaaah! A bad start as it's Lorraine who gets out of bed to answer the phone. If you thought she looked rough in the boardroom you ain't seen nothing yet. Looks like something from The Exorcist. In fact, I'm sure when she answered the phone she said "your mother sucks cocks in hell." Get the vicars in for next week.

Daddy, what's a cunt? Well darling it's real name is Ben Clarke. Honestly, I'd throw something at my telly if it wasn't a full HD Patrick Viera. Obviously, he's never had a shag as he's obsessed with building a sexercise machine. This on the back of his making money is better than sex remark. Regardless of personality he has a pus that needs a good smack. Add in the personality and we have a total cunt. Pinstripe shirt with white collar, pinstripe suit and look at the fucking socks. Aaaarrghhhh.

Kate aka the one from All Saints. Apparently she's been shagging estate agent Philip. In the first week her mouth only opened on one side, too much Philip cock. This went away to be replaced this week by an eye that didn't appear to open properly, obviously the victim of a Philip spurt.

Little Nooral. Poor little Nooral. I've noticed that Sir Alan has tiny shoulders. Well they do say tiny shoulder tiny cock don't they. I reckon Nooral will have to play this card in a couple of weeks to save himself. But Sir Alan, I have a tiny cock. You know what it's like to have a tiny cock. Don't fire me tiny cock Sir Alan. Might work.

James. If last week hurt like it did when his cat died then this week must have felt like his cat was brought back to life as a zombie cat but when it was purring on his lap launched a frenzied attack on his genitalia. Still at least when he got back to the flat everyone seemed pleased to see him. I wonder why that didn't happen with Ben?

Some prize that. Being shouted at by a coked up Katherine Jenkins. Philip's mind was drifting off as to how he could facially pester Kate for next week's show (my bet is on her being deaf in her left ear until some jism trickles out during the pitch). Debra and Yasmina indulged in a bit of hand holding which gave me the right shivers though Nooral probably stored it in the wank bank for later.

I mentioned Debra there. She's quite annoying isn't she. Not too popular but doesn't seem to give a fuck about that. Good to see that Sir Alan gave her no credit for her team's success. Time for my is it just me moment. Is it just me or does wee features Debra look strangely like Sky Sports pundit and ex Celtic and Bayern Munich striker Alan "Rambo" McInally? Look at their wee mouths. Even Sir Alan's little willy couldn't get in there.