You can chew your own but don't chew somebody else's

I was trying to locate a photo of Johnson's Classic lipcare. It is the chapstick for the modern man. I say chapstick in the same way as you would say tannoy or hoover. Chapstick is not all it used to be. The stick doesn't have the girth of the competition.Step aside too Nivea lip balms and Boots own brand melt in your pocket tosh. Johnson's Classic leaves your lips soft, supple and begging for more.

I always need my chapstick. In fact, a man's not a man at all if he doesn't carry one. If I ever accidentally leave mine at home you can guarantee that my lips will start to tingle like they've been wrapped around a trombone whilst standing in a wind tunnel. There's no shame in popping out your stick and smearing it on. Be bold men.

Anyway, about the picture. It took me to ebay where I saw someone selling tubs of Vaseline for £1.50 plus postage. I don't think I'd ever sink to the depths of buying Vaseline through ebay. There's bound to be a pube in the tub when you open it. And some kilt fibres.