Happy Halloween

And what better way to celebrate than by looking at a picture of the plastic horror that is Ice T's wife.

Hey, Fuck You Starbucks!

Don't think for one minute I'm going to pay for a coffee on a Friday because you can't be arsed providing a coupon for a free one in today's Guardian. Selfish bastards.

FAQ

Do you Tess Daly?

Jazz

I've said it before and I'll say it again - jazz with dance rhythms is a travesty of improvisation.

Are you listening Starbucks?

Shitty Fingers

I should have popped this one out earlier.

As someone who has a real hang up about hygiene particularly in delis and public transport to discover that research by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine shows that one in four commuters has bacteria from faeces on their hands. You can read the fully story on the BBC.

My view - you dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty fucking bastards.

It's back to ringing the bus bell with my elbow.

Britney Spears is Gimplady Of The Week

Mount Gay & Coke for Gimplord?

Holidays

Funny things happen when I go on holiday - I end up not updating this blog. It's very poor. There wasn't even a Gimplady Of The Week. That's because I stumbled across a picture of Victoria Beckham in a black catsuit and spent the rest of the day dry-heaving and thinking of Ann Widdecombe fellating John Prescott to try and rid my mind of the image. Normal service about to be resumed.

Marisa Miller is Gimplady Of The Week

Promoting the new Harley Davidson V-Rod.

Worth a ride.

Bill Gates is a dick

Click here for more from this campaign.

Hair

It's been ages since I cut my hair. I reckon it's now a centimetre tall. I've even started to use gel on it. But I'm going to cut it for two reasons:

1. I've run out of gel.

2. I look like a fucking divot.

Bring forth the Remmington!

Lift

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Oh shit

Eastender's is on for an hour tonight. You all know what that means.

MONOLOGUE FUCKING CENTRAL!!!!!